Written on 11/14/2009 11:46:00 PM by Cheryl
Thank you, Darren, for always affirming me (even when I don't ask) that I'm doing okay on stage. Getting back on the worship team this year has been rewarding on so many levels.
I remember a conversation I had with Aunty Chiew Har years and years ago about coping with my ACCA exams (to this day, the mere mention of it drains me) and telling her that I needed to be relieved of my duties as a worship leader. It wasn't a matter of commitment, but rather, a problem it seemed to me at that time to lead people into worship when I carried such a lot of baggage in my heart. "No," she said to me, "you learn to lead not just despite your circumstances, but through your circumstances."
And so I returned to the team this year with that one clear theme in mind. Nothing has gotten easier by this time, a whole eight years since that conversation with her over a brief breakfast in between our YC services, yet I find that I have more reason to sing now than I ever have.
Posted in
Faith
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Written on 11/13/2009 11:41:00 PM by Cheryl
I met someone yesterday who paid me half a compliment. This was a man I had spoken with a couple of times over the phone. He had a soft, gentle, kindly voice, the sort that only extremely patient older gentlemen (could possibly) possess and for that, the image of an extremely patient older slightly balding gentleman formed in my head each time I spoke with him.
I met him yesterday and found that he was actually a whole lot younger than I'd thought. He was actually a young-ish guy, probably in his early 30's. Finally putting my face to my voice seemed to have quite an effect on him for he kept saying to me, "Wow... you don't look the way you sound. You're actually pretty!"
Wow. I didn't know how or what to feel. His comment on my looks did not exactly nourish my esteem. Not yet anyway, so I asked, "So what did I sound like?"
"Well, I thought I was speaking with an old lady."
Heh???
Posted in
Random and Misc
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Written on 9/23/2009 01:10:00 AM by Cheryl
It's 1.10am right now and I am hungry, like really, really hungry. To stop myself from stuffing my face (who am I kidding, it's already stuffed), I'm typing out this random post while I guzzle lots and lots of water so that when I'm done here, I'll be sleepy and too full to crawl downstairs to prepare me a snack.
This weekend, I got myself 2 pairs of walking shoes. Flats, they are, and a pair of them is so terribly unattractive that you may need to look away, y'know, like how it's rude to stare.
It's so aunty that even my mum can't accept them. I can actually see why. I look, frightfully, like my grandmother in them.
I wore that pair all of today and realised that they aren't that comfortable after all. They're not uncomfortable, they're just not comfortable. There's a difference there, friends. All the same, I wondered what possessed me to get them in the first place. Well, I figured it's about time time I began taking care of my feet. No more heels every single day is Rule Number One. More flats is Rule Number Two and Rule Number Three is to learn to bask in the glory of walking shorter.
Okay, I'm not any sleepier nor less hungry. Gonna grab a bite now.
Posted in
Random and Misc
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Written on 9/20/2009 11:57:00 PM by Cheryl
This morning, in the spirit of the festivity of Raya, I stopped by the roadside to get some Lemang. Y'know, that pulut stuff. (I'd only found out this morning that that's what it's called - Lemang).
Hawc chatted with the peddler woman as we waited while she prepared our purchase. I felt bad for her that she had to work when others get these few days off. Sorrier still was that she was working alone. No helper, no family member to be with her to help set up her stall, help with the packaging and payment or protect her if some heartless soul should rob her.
She explained that she had to work or she'd have no income for the day, which would mean she wouldn't have money to give to her kids, which also meant that they'd be sulky about it.
Seemed unacceptable to me that those kids could be so selfish and unkind but I suppose that this is the current generation that is coming after us, one filled with self-centered individuals. And it's not just the rich whose kids are affected, the mentality prevails among the poor just the same. I think it's largely to do with parenting. This world is filled with people who've had to fight very hard for what they've had, and the pattern with such folk is that they don't want their children to have to brave similar hardships, hence, sheltered kids.
Sometimes I wonder if I've made my own mother feel the same way the Lemang makcik felt this morning, that she had to make sure she sure she went the extra mile just so I would be happy. Yes, without a doubt. I suppose all good mothers do what they do, they serve their family, but I wonder if this world would be a far happier place if we all were to do a little, just a little something everyday, in attempt to outdo what our parents have been doing for us. It would be virtually futile of course, to achieve something like that, but it's better than nothing.
Yup, without a doubt.
Posted in
Some thoughts
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Written on 9/20/2009 11:49:00 PM by Cheryl
Would you get a load of THIS! It's the tribute to Michael Jackson at the MTV awards 2009. See, this just goes to show that when you begin something that strikes a chord within people, there's a following. Does that make sense to anyone?
Posted in
Celebrities,
Entertainment
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Written on 9/15/2009 11:37:00 PM by Cheryl
On Saturday morning, I woke up to the sad news that my uncle died earlier that morning from a road accident. He was returning home from supper and drinks with friends when a car crashed into him and left him to die. Neighbouring residents heard the crash but went back to sleep, thinking a speeding vehicle had probably drifted and grazed the kerb/divider. Over an hour later, a neighbour who was out for his morning walk, saw my almost lifeless uncle and rang the amulance. A little too late; they detected a faint heartbeat but he was gone within moments. If only the careless driver stopped to care. A little sense of responsibility and this concept we call humanity could have saved my uncle's life. It could have spared his wife, children and mother from the deepest pain in the world.
At the memorial, I found my aunt and grandmother unconsolable. They, like the rest of us, could not understand why something like that could happen to a good man.
There were so many friends and relatives from all over the country that rushed over on a moment's notice. It was a painful time, yes, very very much so, but I could not help but feel incredibly warmed by the support that blanketed our entire family over the weekend.
I'm immensely proud of my cousin, Rob. When our deceased uncle's eldest son called in the morning, shaking and terrified, Rob left his Seremban home immediately and rushed to the accident scene. He waited at the hospital for the autopsy results, claimed the body, settled the paperwork and made his way to my uncle's home to be with the family as they awaited the casket. After that, he rushed over to our grany's, had a light-hearted chat with her over lunch to ensure that she ate, and kept her company as he waited for his father to arrive to break the news to her.
As I held my grandmother's hand and looked around me, I realised that many of my relatives had dealt with the loss of a loved one. A cousin who got up to get me some warm soup had lost his mother, another who was tearfully watching the prayer ceremony outside had lost her brother, and an aunt had lost her husband.
I can't get the image of my sobbing grandmother and aunt out of my mind. I can't stop imagining what they must be going through and how they must be battling with never fully knowing how my uncle died or who caused it. Until the driver decides to fess up, which is obviously never gonna happen, the entire family can't fully put a closure to this. I'm worried sick for my grandmother that she's in constant agony and wish I could do something for her to alleviate her pain.
I'll never forget the open display of grief I witnessed over the weekend. Hopefully this would be a wake up call to many others who will (mercifully) never experience a sorry tragedy like this. I can't stress enough the fact that people must learn to be more considerate when driving. If you're impatient, slow down. There are worthy lives out there besides yours.
Imagine your loved ones out there everyday, at the mercy of thoughtless drivers, who can only, at most, apologise when someone gets hurt. As for the forsaken souls that don't bother to stop, I just wonder how they sleep at night.
Posted in
Death
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Written on 9/07/2009 01:32:00 AM by Cheryl
I listened to a message recently that made so much sense that I thought I'd put it up here for everyone's benefit.
1. Get a coach and take his/her advice
Tiger Woods and Roger Federer expose themselves to coaching, so even you, who are the best in your circle or field at what you do, are not beyond learning. Smart students empower their coach by a great learning attitude. Easier said than done. Being taught requires great humility and the ability to discern, something you need to develop in your own time; it can't be taught. And don't bother learning from or teaching a complainer. You might find the activity of pounding sand more time beneficial.
2. Identify three to four key disciplines you will not compromise.
These should be disciplines that edify you emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically, and to be done on a daily basis. Think personal development, active reading, prayer and exercise. Setting good disciplines is a part of setting up the framework of your life and exposing your mind to greater things than your self. You could ignore these calls of course, and live life merely maintaining what has to be done. If you're not stepping out of your environment to look at it, your thinking's gonna get stale fast. When you get to that, you're a pain, nothing less.
3. Find out what gives you your head space and go there
Head space is for thinking. Plan out your work, your goals, your leisure and how you're spreading out your time. It might or might not come as a surprise to you that many people cease to practise that ability, which leads to narrow-mindedness, which leads to a shelved capacity. People might say that circumstances play a part in that. Umm, people don't need excuses made for them. People need to understand that a resolute decision can only lead to greater things.
4. Get light and shade in every 7-day block
That means go to bed when it's time to go to bed and wake up when it's time to do so. Exercise and eat right. So simple but the failure to maintain these disciplines are major causes of mental stress and fatal illnesses.
Posted in
A few things I've learnt
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